Gratitude or Resentment?

Dictionary definitions are not always clear. Neither is my attitude. I desire gratitude, but resentment often sneaks in. Resentment of trials, people, obstacles that seem to be in my way, tasks that seem tiresome or too difficult for me. But I know that each challenge has been hand-picked for a special purpose by a Father who loves me.

What reason do I have to blame, complain or grumble
when my God is the one who is writing the story
of my life?

After enduring a winter that is colorless and dreary, springtime comes as a most welcome friend in Beijing. Partly owing to the freezing cold that lasts from November to March, many different flowers are able to bloom in April and May. So it is in my life. The difficult times exist to bring forth something good.  I can draw strength and courage from God's promises that with endurance comes a great reward. 

The lilacs are abundant and fragrant this year.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 

James 1:12

Peach blossoms in Olympic Park

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. 

Galatians 6:7-9





About the word 恩怨-a feeling of gratitude or resentment: 

The first character carries the meaning "kindness; favor; grace," and the second "resentment or enmity" Together they can be used to say, "personal feelings."

For example: "Don't be swayed by your personal feelings (either good or bad)."

Often, however, the word is used to express only the meaning of the last character, a feeling of resentment, or the bearing of grudges or grievances.

For example, when a reporter, whose child was born with a tumor, was asked why she paid so much of her own money to investigate and produce a documentary on the source of air pollution in China, she used this word to say,  "This is a personal grievance between myself and the smog."