Cultural Dissonance

Cultural dissonance is defined as “an uncomfortable sense of discord, disharmony, confusion, or CoNfLicT experienced by people in the midst of change in their cultural environment.”

Having lived in Beijing for just 8 months now, we experience this dissonance on a daily basis, and will undoubtedly continue to experience it for quite some time. We sometimes say, “Maybe they’ll change that,” when something appears inefficient or awkward in our way of thinking, but we are only joking. We are the ones who are “different” here!  The Lord gives us uncomfortable things for our good, to help us to grow, and cultural dissonance is no exception.  If we humble ourselves to think of others first, we will continue to learn and fall  more in stride with our Chinese neighbors.

Here are some examples of times that we feel the dissonance, and times when we have seen it diminish:

We are aware of cultural dissonance when. . .	The dissonance fades away a bit when. . .
. . .our language teacher walks into class and we are all in the midst of a conversation in English.	. . . we make an effort to converse with each other in Chinese when we are with Chinese friends.
. . . I can tell people are whispering and talking to one another about me or my family members.	. . . a friendly little voice says, “Hello! How are you? It is a nice day today!” I compliment their English (their parents beam!), the parents compliment my Chinese, and we have a little chat.
. . . people look shocked and don’t know what to do when we try to initiate a conversation in our limited Chinese, or when the opposite happens and their response is way beyond what we’re able to comprehend.	. . . even strangers understand that I’m trying to learn their language and they speak slowly and repeat things to make sure I am tracking with them. I also really appreciate it when they are not afraid to correct my grammar and pronunciation.  That actually closes the gap instead of widening it.
. . . someone shoves in front of me, pushes me out of the way, or almost runs over me with their car or bicycle. . . or bus.	. . . I learn the traffic patterns and am able to go with the flow more easily, and then what I thought was chaos even starts to make sense!
. . . the “up” escalator is on the right side one day and on the left side the next. I really don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this one! I always head left to go up, but half of the time that side is going down. Why do they switch it? We may never know!	. . . restaurants have you pay your bill when you order, even in sit-down establishments. Can’t explain it exactly, but I really like this way of doing things. And you are not expected to leave a tip for anything.
. . . I hear someone call me a foreigner.	. . . someone asks me in Chinese what my nationality is. I answer, and then ask them, “What’s yours?” This makes them laugh and that’s always a good start!
. . . we are the only ones riding in the stuffy subway car who are holding their jacket, hats, scarves and gloves instead of wearing them.	. . . I begin to realize that it really is a hassle to take off my layers every time I get in and out of the crowded subway.
. . . friends or teachers offer advice about what we should do when they hear someone is ill. “Soak his feet in burning hot water for one hour and put him right into bed with very heavy covers on. . .Drink only hot water, no juice. . .Wear more clothes, even in the house. . .Your kids do NOT wear enough clothes.”	. . . I realize that in China, giving advice is considered the best way to express your concern and care for others. Our friends rarely throw out platitudes like, “I hope you feel better,” or “Sorry you aren’t feeling well,” unless they are familiar with American culture. Friends and teachers willingly offer their wisdom, and we just need to say, “Thank you! You are very kind.”

 I did make Ian soak his feet before getting into bed once so that if my friend asked me if I took her advice I could say that I did. (She never asked.) The same friend also gave us several packages of Chinese medicine with instructions for taking them written out in English the next morning and would not let us pay her back.

The biblical principle: “Do to others as you would have them do to you,” transcends culture, and by so-doing, we are confident that our efforts will bear fruit in God’s time. In the meantime, please pray that we will be patient and persevering!